step out of yourself

you know how other people's extreme successes can make you feel super small and far away from reaching greatness? its not that i'm being defeatist minded or being a lousy example but really as a human, you'll sometimes find yourself magnifying the negative circumstance you're in, bcos of the very contrasting positive circumstances the people around you are in. 

so what to do when you feel this way? 

a. sulk and feel lousy about yourself.

b. make plans and do smt abt it.

c. day dream and conceive images in your mind.

d. pray and trust God that images in your mind can one day come true.

i'd go for b,c & d. but "a" does happen naturally to ppl so don't fret. 

i was doing "a" for a short while just now, kinda involuntarily, and suddenly i just felt this provocation in my spirit. the " sheila! you can't stay in this state any longer! do smt! plan! NOW!" feeling. 

at the end of the day, really, all the planning and visualising will amount to nothing if you don't trust yourself and God. 

i think the reason why people don't seem to trust themselves is because of certain vicious cycles they see themselves caught in. pretty much a defeatist mindset. like Charles Kingshaw in The King of the Castle (yes THAT sec sch lit text). as a third person, you see how easily he could have gotten out of the wiles of Edmund Hooper. and sometimes we need to step out of our own lives, be a third person, to see how with some courage and faith, we actually can make it. 

don't wait till you see on hindsight to think that "aww, i should have... aww, i would have... aww, i could have..." reminds me of this song "shoulda woulda coulda" by Beverly Knights that i used to always listen to when i was in my early teens. it says "shoulda woulda coulda means i'm outta time ... shoulda woulda coulda are the last words of a fool."

don't be a fool. step out of yourself now and see that you can indeed do it.