goodbye

did you notice that i didn't end my last post properly?! so ugly right. hai. was too tired that day already so i like pressed "publish post" in my semi-conscious state and only realised the next day. haha. shall leave it as it is. call time tml is 6am. I shall be going to bed soon. i am suddenly hit with this wave of emo-ness. which isn't really desirable. i'm scared of emo-ness of what it'll do to my joy which although is growing is still frail. there are so many things at the back of my head i feel my existence is not very defined. and tonight i make a decision that i'll bury what no one else needs to know and move on and away from what mightn't be. goodbye conflicted spirit. goodbye.

Ps 138 O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down. ... Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? ... Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.